The Nameless Piririn Story
by Piririn
Summary: What would happen if Piccolo and Krillin were the only ones alive to kill Buu


Author's Note: This story is meant to be funny and so many of the   
characters are out of character. This story explains how the Earth   
was really destroyed and answers the immortal question, can True Buu   
talk.  
  
Buu's body began to quake, its muscles exploding outward. Many   
would remember this moment as the worst of their lives, the horror of   
horrors, the abomination of evil which would be their last memory.   
Except for two people floating a 100 feet away from Buu.   
  
"Oh the horror, ah, I can't move because of the terror I feel," said   
Krillin as he laughed in a blatantly sarcastic tone.  
  
"Oh no the bulging pink marshmallow is gonna hurt me, I want my mommy,"   
yelled Piccolo as he fell down laughing.  
  
"Yeah, that pink mashmallow is so fat that he is..uh...really fat,  
ya that is it, he is really fat. Right guys? Get it he is really   
fat....," commented Choa Tzu as he brought Piccolo's cold glare   
towards him.  
  
"What the HECK are you talking about Choa Tzu. And besides how did you   
survive?"  
  
"Ummm...well..."  
  
"Just shut up Choa Tzu. I have always wanted to do this,   
DIE!," yelled Krillin as he fired a massive Kamehameha at the annoying   
weakling. "Kami, that felt good!," Krillin yelled as he did a   
victory dance.  
  
Above the two fighters stood the now completely transformed True Buu.   
  
"He looks kind of puny," muttered Vegeta to Goku.  
  
"NOOO!!, don't you see! He is small, pink and has negative muscle   
mass!! The horror!, we are all gonna die!," screamed Goku as he fell   
onto a rock and prostrated himself. "If only Gohan was alive we   
could beat him in a second."  
  
"You imbecile Gohan is right behind you. Toriyama just didn't want to   
take the easy ending and just let Gohan go kill Buu."  
  
"NOOOOO!!!! You lie!!!"  
  
"Nevermind." muttered Vegeta as he easily deflected Buu's first blast.   
  
"See I told you. That really hurt didn't it, Vegeta."  
  
"No it didn't"  
  
"Liar!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
As Goku finished Buu fired his second blast.   
  
"Vegeta, move out of the way! I am going to teleport us out of here!"  
  
"Why?? Kakorot, you do know that Chao Tzu could create a stronger   
blast?," Vegeta said now in his usually angry tone.  
  
"GRAB MY HAND!!!!"  
  
A second later the two heroes were gone.  
  
"Whaaa... Kakorot!!! You idiot you teleported us to the SUN!!!"  
  
"Oops," was all Goku had time to say before they were vaporized   
by the sun's immense heat.  
  
"So, you want to block that Gohan?"   
  
"No, now that my father is dead I am going to inherit your mission   
of destroying the world!" screamed Gohan as he began to power up.  
  
"Really? Thanks Gohan, I feel so honored that you would do that for   
me," said Piccolo as tears began to form in his eyes.   
  
The blast that would destroy the Earth formed in Gohan's hands, its   
shimmering light spreading across the green plain below. At that   
instance Kaiobit appeared and grabbed Piccolo, Krillin, and Dende.   
And within the second he appeared they were gone leaving Gohan and   
a baffled Mr. Satan behind.  
  
The 4 people landed on the soft grass of Kaio-ou-shin and stood up.  
  
"Ahhh, that wonderful Gohan, taking up my quest to destroy the world.   
I knew my training him would payoff eventually." said Piccolo his face   
now covered in tears.  
  
"That is such a great story Piccolo, I also always had great things in   
mind for Gohan but destroying the world. Really, I never would have   
dreamed. I am just so darn proud," replied Krillin whose face was also   
now covered in tears.   
  
"Would you two just shut up. You are acting like Gohan destroying the   
world is comparable to Mother Teresa helping the poor," yelled   
Kaiobit at the two tearful fighters.  
  
"It is. Would you like to see what happens to those who disagree with   
me," said Piccolo as he enveloped himself in ki.  
  
"I am far stronger than you, you couldn't touch me," replied Kaiobit.  
  
"Hahaha, yeah right, you believe that hahahaha," Piccolo said as he   
once again fell on the ground laughing.  
  
"Hmmm, you have outlived your usefulness, goodbye," and with that   
Kaiobit and Rou Dai Kaioshin disappeared in a blinding ray of light.  
  
"DENDE!!!"  
"Wow, I never knew you could do that!"   
  
"That was awesome Dende, you are really a chip off the old block,"   
said Piccolo as he stood up. "Well, now that you have proved   
yourself I guess I will tell you something very important. Dende,   
I am your father."  
  
"Really, I love you dad."  
  
"Man, this is such a great day. First, Gohan destroying the Earth and   
now this," said Krillin as tears began to flood his eyes once again.  
  
Tears began to appear in Piccolo's eyes as he lend up Krillin's   
shoulder, "I love you man."  
  
"You aren't getting my Bud Light Piccolo."  
  
"Dang."   
  
"You know what is funny? Even if we revive everyone Mr. Satan and   
Choa Tzu won't be able to come back. This really is a great day."  
  
"You are right Krillin, they weren't killed by Buu but by Gohan and   
you."  
  
At that moment Buu appeared on the horizon and began to fly towards   
him.  
  
"Speak of the short pink marshmallow."  
  
As Buu neared Krillin noticed the shaking form of Mr. Satan behind   
a rock  
  
"Ah, crud that idiot survived." Mr.Satan would later wish that Gohan   
had killed him thanks to Krillin's next thoughts. "Hey, Piccolo I   
have an idea. Lets trick Mr. Satan into thinking that he is immortal   
and get him to fight Buu."  
  
A large sinister grin appeared on Piccolo's face and he quickly   
grabbed Mr. Satan and brought him back to Krillin.  
  
Doing his best helpless expression Krillin began to explain to   
Mr. Satan that he was the universe's only hope and that he was   
immortal.   
  
"Really, ok I will help. After all it is my duty as the universe's   
strongest fighter."  
  
Unfortunately for Mr. Satan, he didn't hear Piccolo or Krillin's   
snickering as he walked away and so he walked right into what Krillin   
regarded as the funniest moment of his life.  
  
"Ok Buu, it is time to pay for you evil!," screamed Mr. Satan as he   
launched himself at Buu.   
  
Buu dropped onto the ground screaming, his hands clutched onto his   
head. The large, pink form of Fat Buu began to appear from his mouth.   
It quickly came out and Fat Buu began to dance around turning the   
chared forms of Kaiobit and Rou Dai Kaioshin into chocolate.  
  
"BUU!!!!," Buu screamed as he munched on the chocolate forms of the   
gods. "You know True Buu you didn't have to spit me out. I   
would have gladly helped kill Mr. Satan if you wanted me to. I   
only like Mr. Satan because he fixed me food. It wasn't very good   
so I would gladly kill him."  
  
Piccolo, Krillin, and Dende fell down laughing as True Buu began to   
tear Mr. Satan apart.   
  
"Ohhh, that was just nasty!"  
"That can't be good. Since when do arms bend like that."  
"I can't watch!"  
"Look at all that blood it is horrible!"  
"Oh my Kami! Legs aren't supposed to do that."  
  
All in all the horribly graphic seen lasted for an hour.  
  
"You gotta give it to Mr. Satan he had a lot of stamina."  
  
"Ummm, quick question, who is going to kill Buu."  
  
"I don't know. You want to Piccolo?"  
  
"I guess, it doesn't bother me."  
  
"I don't won't to be the bearer of bad news but neither of you   
can beat Buu," muttered Dende as he backed away in case they decided   
to attack him.  
  
"You know, he is right but if one of us was absorbed by Fat Buu..."  
  
"Hey! Don't look at me like that! Come on leave me alone," screamed   
Dende as he flew away as fast as he could.  
  
It was to late for the small Namek for Piccolo was only seconds   
away from catching him and Krillin was already in negotitions with   
Fat Buu.  
  
"Ok. You absorb Dende and destroy Buu and you get to turn Piccolo   
into chocolate," said Krillin as he finished the deal with a large   
grin on his face.  
  
"Here he is Krillin. Why is Buu looking at me like that Krillin."  
  
"I honestly have no idea," replied Krillin as he walked away.  
  
"Let me go Piccolo I am your son."  
  
"Do you really think I care, remember who my father was. I really   
don't care much for the father son relationship."  
  
That was the last image Dende saw before being absorbed by Buu.  
  
"Ok Buu its your turn."  
  
"No problem.... I wonder what Namek chocolate tastes like,"   
questioned Buu as he flew off to fight the rampaging Buu.  
  
"What the heck is he talking about Krillin!"  
  
"Honestly Piccolo, I have no idea," Krillin said while doing a perfect   
impresion of Goku's dumbfounded look.  
  
On the battlefield the two Buus were about even. Dende had caused   
Fat Buu to become even shorter and had given him a green complexion.   
As for his fighting skills they had tripled once the young Namek had   
been absorbed. The battle raged on for hours with both Buus doing   
equal damaged to the other. Krillin's master plan unfolded though,   
when Buu overtaken by a fit of hungry spit Dende back up so that he   
could eat. Buu never got his last meal, the chaotic Buu had used   
Buu's lapse from the fight to build up a massive ball of energy.   
Buu never saw it coming for he was fully concentrated on Dende.  
  
"What the Heck! No Buu!! You Moron!," screamed Krillin."Buu is gonna   
kill us. Piccolo we have to fuse or we will be killed."  
  
"What? Don't act like you care about me surviving. I heard you make   
your little deal with Buu you little punk."  
  
"I was just joking Piccolo. Seriously, I had to say it to get him to   
fight Buu. Come on Piccolo. Please, after all I am married to 18.   
Think about it Piccolo, 18."  
  
"You amaze me Krillin. Everyday, you prove yourself to be more of an   
idiot. No I won't fuse with you short man."  
  
"Fine Piccolo, how about you fight Buu," Krillin said as he knocked   
Piccolo into the charging Buu.  
  
"Basta..," Piccolo's comments were cut off as Buu began his relentless   
assault of punches.  
  
"Hehee.. serves you right Piccolo," muttered Krillin as he tried to   
figure a way out of the mess he was in. As Krillin stared at the ground   
he realized he was really standing in shit and quickly jumped away.  
  
"Dang it! Dende is this your way off getting back at me! I bet it is.   
That little god never could take a joke. Hmph."  
  
As Krillin began to wallow in self-pity Piccolo was knocked out of the   
fight by Buu and landed in the pile of shit Krillin had just been   
standing in.  
  
"Now I am sure that was Dende's way of getting back at us. Are you   
ready to fuse now Piccolo. It didn't look like you did to well against   
Buu."  
  
"You little short shrimp I am going to kill you. But in the mean time   
I will fuse you little jerk."  
  
Both fighters took up the fusion position and completed it without   
trouble. Their ki rushed across the planet tearing down the what   
was left of the trees and mountains and the planet. After the   
transformation their stood a figure Vegeta's height, he was   
clothed in a black and orange fusion suit and on his green forehead   
was 6 dots.   
  
"I am Krillin and I am Piccolo we are the instruments of your demise."  
  
The baffled Buu stood motionless his head turned sideways.  
  
"Umm Piccolo aren't we supposed to have one personality."  
  
"I thought so too."  
  
"It doesn't matter. Ok we will attack on his left."  
  
"No Right"  
  
"Left"  
  
"Right you freaking moron"  
  
"Ok fine, right."  
  
Piririn rocketed off towards Buu his ki creating a barrier around him.   
He threw himself into a series of punches and kicks all of which   
Buu took motionlessly.  
  
"You think he is dead?"  
  
"Maybe"  
  
"Bwahahahaha he died of fright"  
  
"You think"  
  
"Of course. Who wouldn't after seeing our greatness."  
  
"You have a good point."  
  
Buu slowly moved his pink body towards the ground his arm grabbing a   
stick as he touched the ground. Quickly he spelled out in large   
letters..  
  
*YOU ARE STRANGE*  
  
"What!!! How dare you insult me!"  
  
*WHAT ARE YOU*  
  
"Umm...I am Piririn the god of destruction."  
  
*YOU STUPID*  
  
"Why you little punk...by the way why are you writing in the dirt?"  
  
*I CAN'T SPEAK... BABIDI TO STUPID TO TEACH ME*  
  
"Really, well if you promise not to attack anyone anymore I will teach   
you."  
  
*NO NEED. BABIDI TOLD ME BY KILLING PEOPLE AND DESTROYING THINGS PEOPLE  
WOULD UNDERSTAND ME*  
  
"Sorry to tell you but he lied."  
  
*REALLY? OK IF YOU TEACH ME TO SPEAK I WON'T KILL ANYONE*  
  
"OK..."  
  
As the agreement was made a throughly angered God made his way over to   
the two.  
  
"If their was still a planet for me to be God of I would send you both   
to hell."  
  
And so ends the deranged tale of Piririn and his strange adventures. 


End file.
